It's 4am, or earlier sometimes, and the alarm goes off. You wonder why it's going off so early, because you just closed your eyes. It's just time to get up. It's a labor of love for us surfers and as we get the coffee in our system, the poop out of the way, the truck warmed up and the message sent "I'm on my way". We get anxious and once this train gets rolling it doesn't want to stop for anything, not coffee, not another bathroom break, and certainly not for "That" guy who isn't ready to go with the same level of urgency that we have.

You know "that" guy, he's the one that asks "are we surfing in the morning?". "I am, you wanna' go?" you reply. "can you come get me?" .... "Sure"... "What time?"... "tides low at 6am, so 5'ish?"..."cool, send me a message when you're leaving" (insert thumbs up or other stupid emoji here).

These messages show up late, because often times "That" guy is still a bachelor. For you though, getting up to go surf involves a few more steps. You've got a wife who's attached at the nipple to an infant that feeds on mom like a vampire slowly draining it's victim of blood. Cooking breakfast is not an easy task with this little one needing constant attention. So you get up early and get some breakfast prepped for the family, while making sure you've gotten enough coffee to stimulate your own bathroom needs and while running down the checklist of things you're going to need on this morning's surf adventure. Preparedness is key and more so on the family prep. If things go smooth in your absence, it won't be noticed as much, which makes you free to be absent as needed when the waves are good.

Coffee, check, strong enough, check, Board, check, rashy, check, sunscreen, check, cellphone, check, wax, check, towel, don't need it, wetsuit, don't need it, hat, check, glasses, check, license, check... poop, almost ready, message sent, check.

Once this train gets moving it's hard to stop, but you do have to swing by to get "That" guy who you agreed to pick up. You get to his house and call, because who rings a doorbell anymore? No answer... "maybe he's pooping" you think to yourself. Doubt creeps in. You send a text, "hey man, I'm out front"... 30 seconds pass.. it's unread. You call again, instead of ringing it goes straight to voicemail. That's all you needed, put it in drive and think to yourself, "why do I even waste my time?"

It's usually not the first time You've swung by "that" guy's house, which is often not too conveniently located off the freeway. It's not the first time he's flaked. Generally, it's your fault for falling prey... every time though you say, "that's the last time fucker!" You get a text later, "how were the waves man? Sorry, had a late one last night, couldn't pull it off! :-)"

This is just one scenario and "That" guy comes in a rainbow of flavors. Often times he's not invited on surf trips anymore, but somehow always wiggles his way in. He's generally not welcome because "That" guy always gets to the airport dangerously late for every flight, but especially international flights. "That" guy doesn't know where his passport is and fumbles around, even resorting to calling his ride back before finding the missing passport in the most obvious place right where he left it. "That" guys' bags are overweight. "That" guy upgrades the seat that you booked him next to you..."you know I hate sitting in the middle man", "That" guy says. "That" guy is the one who is still settling his bar tab at the airport bar and ordering one to go when they're doing last call for boarding. The gate agent tells him "you can't take that drink on the plane sir."..."That" guy looks surprised.

When you finally arrive and handlers are scrambling for luggage, "that" guy lets them all scramble away with his bags, while you lug yours around. "That" guy doesn't have cash for tips though, so you set your bags down to dig in your wallet to loan him small bills for tips. Your bags get scooped up, only to face your unwanted baggage handlers with that face you get when you don't have a tip for them. "That" guy is nowhere to be found when the transport is loaded and it's time to head out...he's buying chewing gum and magazines. "I needed some small bills", he says, while not paying you back.

It doesn't end there, no, in fact, it's just begun. "That" guy doesn't bring surf wax on a surf trip. "That" guy doesn't bring sunscreen either. "That" guy has 5 brand new sets of fins, but doesn't have a fin key, or at least doesn't know that there is a fin key with each set. "That" guy doesn't bring solarez. "That" guy has to have the lower bunk. "That" guy is gluten free even when he's not. "That" guy wants to drink vodka tonics in the middle of the jungle when only rum and warm beer are present. "That" guy, is the one putting fins in his board when the boat is loaded and ready to leave. "That" guy is the one who breaks his leash and wants to borrow your spare. "That" guy is the one who gets Bali Belly, the 4 foot flu, and has a stiff back...when the waves are perfect..."anyone got any pain pills?" "That" guy asks. "That" guy complains... "The room is too hot, The AC is too cold, the waves are too small, the waves are too big, the wind is too strong, the tide is too high, the tide is too low, there's no chicks around here, don't they have anything besides beer?" "That" guy, should have stayed home.

Other guys on the trip ask, "who is 'That' guy?"... you pawn the invitation off on another mutual friend. "That" guy wants to find hookers and blow when there's a dawn patrol the next morning.

We all know "That" guy, or at least you better hope you know him. Because if you don't, you probably are "That" guy.